Friday 20 January 2006

i'm raising a boobah

Last night I was sprawled on the sofa, reading a book and idly listening to the kids pester Bear, not a care in the world. I did a little cleaning yesterday in the pantry - even went through the spice rack, tossed out bits and old stuff, so I was relaxing. Bear was having laptop woes, and not really paying any attention to the terrible two (always a recipe for disaster). Cass was playing under the kitchen table, contentedly running dinky cars around and up Bear's feet, and Rosey got bored and wandered over to the trash.

Yes, it's true. The girl-apple of my eye is a trashpicker.

She does this wonderful thing - when we change her diaper, she will grab the balled up old one and throw it in the trash can. No, really. She'll also undress if she's wet and find her own coat and boots. She's kind of spooky-smart that way. On one of those trips (and you can understand we've been milking this) she must have seen something in the garbage that she liked. Since then, if the house is quiet, chances are you can find Miss R fishing.

I was losing myself in my novel when suddenly Bear screamed 'Holy shit!' and Rosey came running out of the kitchen, B in hot pursuit. She ran over and buried her face in my arm. When I finally got her untangled and caught sight of her face - Rosey was blue. No, not like I-can't-breathe blue. Just blue, in a huge spreading mess on her mouth, nose, cheeks, neck, hands, and my shoulder. Apparently blue food coloring tastes good.

I have never moved so fast in my life. UP the stairs, INTO the bathroom,strip clothes and diaper, toss baby in and SCRUB.
Her tongue was blue. Her teeth were blue. Her lips were...oh, you've got the point. I used every soap, shampoo, and body wash we have on her face. The bathwater turned a grotty color. About sixteen washes later, her face was clean...a bit blue if you squinted, but okay. Her hands were a different matter. I'm not sure if she was playing in the coloring or what, but her hands were NOT coming clean. I let her play in the tub until she was pruney, but still stubbornly blue-fingered.
Her teeth did come clean after a bit of brushing, and the tongue wore off by itself. But even after her bath tonight, Rosey Posey still has blue paws.

I'm waiting for the kaleidoscope poop.

11 comments:

Angewl said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I am so sorry, but I am laughing my ass off!!!

Penny Ratzlaff said...

Sorry, but I'm laughing too.

Cat, Galloping said...

oh please tell me you have pictures!

Lily'sMama said...

OMG, that would have been too funny!

Josi said...

Seriously, you did catch this on film. For posterities sake of course. Pleas say you did. That is terrible yet so wonderful. LOL

Angewl said...

Pictures!!! YES!!!

Did you get pictures of smurfette?????

PLEASE say you did???

Jess said...

No, darn it, I didn't. In my mad dash to the tub it was forgotten. But don't worry. At the same time I threw away the blue food coloring, there was a bottle of green too...and I can't find it. So she has it squirrelled away somewhere, waiting until our defenses are low.

Poppy B. said...

LOL at Smurfette.

I just hope that when (not if) she drinks the green food coloring she doesn't end up looking like The Wicked Witch of the West.

Crazy MomCat said...

HA! Yes, I really hope you got pictures. This sounds so much like my little girl too. We like to call her Dora the Explorer. She's almost two and I will be lucky to not have gray hair by the time she turns three!

Major Bedhead said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

It's too bad you didn't get pictures. The blackmail possibilites you lost are legion.

Tessa said...

Embarrased to say, but the next time I'm using food coloring, I'm bound to take a tiny taste.
I can't imagine that it's sweet at all! What is the allure, Rosey?
Hmm?

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